Eva in Wonderland

The great thing about having a chronic illness is that one gets to meet so many health professionals. This week I get to meet a hematologist, doesn't that sound fun? He happens to be at a Cancer Center, my friendly new specialist, so I pointedly told the receptionist that I do not have cancer and she laughed. She also told me they were so looking forward to meeting me. I found that strange. I have been sick for over 20 years and not once has a medical receptionist has said she was looking forward to meeting me. I am comfortable in my role of being only one in the masses of sick people. Somehow standing out in the crowd of sickies makes me uncomfortable, like that would mean I was special in my sickness, which I would prefer not to be. If you did not know a Hematologist is a doctor who specializes in blood. I have been consistently anemic for years so it has never been a surprise to hear that my "levels were low". Apparently I have reached new heights of lowness and now this is "concerning". Most of what I dislike about seeing a new doc is the part where I have to go through my whole goddamned medical history, again. Often the doc has all my info in my ridiculously large file. Apparently the file is meaningless because my job is to reiterate what is there in fine print if said doc would only read it! That almost never happens. I hate telling my sickie story, it is boring, long meandering and reminds me how long I have put up with this bull shit. Acquiring a new specialist is not like acquiring a new Dooney and Bourke handbag, no status is achieved by gaining a new doc.