Sunday, July 21, 2013

I think I understand the rationale behind commune living. Since my day to day activity cannot be predicted I get the lure of wanting someone else there to do what I do on my shitty days. i would not be so stupid as to want to clone another "me" . right another person on the couch, where would the dogs lay down? No, what i need is a "Big Love" arrangement so another wife/Mom could pick up my slack. Rich people call this " help" and we are not in that tax bracket so I am still searching for another term, or situation. We are not Mormon so "sister wives" is out. DJ would not do well on a commune since he would have tp be in charge. Cole could not live with a bunch of hippies although Mason might dig the permissiveness and would probably enjoy debating some of our "brethren". No I can't see either of those as options.My mind goes to magical thinking when I start thinking about the Eva solution. I have such little faith in medicine that I consider conjuring a helper fairy more likely than me getting better.
On a good day i can do so many things! And when the big steroid guns are pulled out - just watch me go! I am amazing. The bull shit thing about that is it never lasts. I haven't actively tried to sell my jam in over 4 weeks. I am both embarassed and ashamed of my lack of commitment to my business. ti
he bottom line

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